NUTBAG (2000)

DIRECTED & WRITTEN BY Nick Palumbo

STARRING - Mack Hall as "Killer". (Literally every other character is only onscreen for a matter of minutes. This is truly a one man show).

PLOT - A misogynist and racist serial killer stalks the city of Las Vegas. We - the lucky audience - get to follow him and see his innermost thoughts for several days as he murders various prostitutes and other random unfortunates. It really is as simple as that...

DIALOUGE  - Killer - "My whole existence is a nightmare. Maybe someday I'll wake up and be DEAD !!!"

PERFORMANCES  - Good grief. 

The main character of this film is...interesting to say the least. Mack Hall plays "Killer" in a way that bears no relation to what could be considered a "good" piece of acting but somehow manages to be both highly watchable and very entertaining (for all the wrong reasons).

"Killer" is basically a misogynistic, racist, homophobic incel (in fact, it's probably easier to list the types of people that he doesn't hate). "Killer" hates EVERYONE but most of all he hates himself. When we first see him he's messing around with a gun, looking like he's about to commit suicide (he doesn't).

Just look at that teeth gritted intensity. He's like this for the ENTIRE film. "Killer" is a man who snarls at everyone and everything around him. He even walks angrily (and we see him walking about in this film a hell of a lot). 

As you can probably guess by his non too subtle name "Killer" is actually a killer. Mainly prostitutes and other unfortunate women but sometimes the odd man here or there when he's feeling particularly vindictive. When he's not killing people, "Killer" sits alone in his flat with his pet spider - Heinrich (because of course he'd give his pet a Nazi sounding name) - basically moaning about the rest of the human race and how much he hates them and himself.

A quick word about the decor of "Killer's" flat. Adorned on it's walls are photos of women cut out of porn mags (occasionally when he's feeling a bit grumpy, he'll take one of these posters down and mutilate it. I once lived in Halls of residence at University with a guy that used to do this whenever he'd had a fight with his girlfriend, funnily enough he was a total bellend as well). Also decorating "Killer's" walls are various angrily worded quotes (including the one from Jack The Ripper about him feeling "down on whores") my favourite though is the single word he has on one wall - that word is TWATS. I laughed my head off when I saw this.

There's a hilarious scene where "Killer" is sat in his flat preparing a ham sandwich. Suddenly theres a knock at the door. Its his landlord demanding this months rent which hasn't been paid (obviously callously murdering everyone you meet doesn't pay well). "Killer" answers the door wearing a pig mask, drags his landlord inside and the scene cuts. We next see a dejected looking "Killer" eating his ham sandwich which is now utterly ruined because its soaked in the blood of his landlord. He still eats it anyway. Never before have I seen a homicidal maniac look so dejected about eating a soggy sandwich. Its comedy gold.

At one point his sexy next door neighbour gives him her phone number. For a moment it looks like things are looking up for our dejected slaughterer, but no - whenever he tries to call her she doesn't answer. This makes "Killer" even more pissed off. Cue lots of strutting angrily around his flat whilst discordant ambient techno music plays on the soundtrack. If he wasn't such a coiled spring arsehole you'd maybe feel sorry for him, instead you just point and laugh.

He's just so up so himself and full of angst, even one of the masks he wears whilst committing his latest murder looks thoroughly bloody miserable. He's like the Eeyore of Psycho killing dickbags.

Thats really all there is to say about "Killer". He ponces about. He has a bit of a grumble. He ponces about a bit more. Grumbles a bit more. Horrifically murders an innocent bystander. Grumbles about it and then ponces about a bit more. Rinse and repeat until the movie ends.

By the end point its implied that "Killer" has even got fed up of killing. He decides to leave Las Vegas. First though he must kill his faithful friend Heinrich the spider (because he "can't take him where he's going" or something). We don't actually see this arachnid homicide but its probably the most emotionally upsetting part of the entire movie. We feel more grief and pity for the (implied) death of a spider than we do for any of "Killer's" human victims. This speaks volumes about how one dimensional all the other characters in the film are. They're literally just there to scream and die and nothing else.

SEX & VIOLENCE  - Theres several instances of full frontal female nudity. These women are supposed to be prostitutes after all. Funnily enough "Killer" always murders them before he's actually had sex with them - AND THEN HAS THE CHEEK TO SPEND THE ENTIRE FILM WHINGEING ABOUT HOW HE NEVER GETS LAID !!!!!!! If you can't score with a prossie (or are just too dumb to realise that a murdered hooker ISN'T going to be the most attentive of lovers) then you're clearly on a hiding to nothing.

Apparently the uncut version of this film is pretty gory, however the version I watched has most of the gore cut out. Most of the murders play out in this way - "Killer" approaches victim. "Killer" grabs victim. Victim screams (a lot - usually at high volume). Camera cuts away. Camera cuts back to bloody corpse of victim.

Either that or we see "Killer" having a shower to wash the gore off himself.

Theres a couple of notable exceptions. At one point "Killer" spots a mixed race couple in the park. The film cuts and we see the pair tied up in his flat (quite how "Killer" managed to overpower two people and get thier unconscious bodies back home is never explained). "Killer" proceeds to taunt them. Eventually he cuts the man's throat and stabs the woman in the stomach. This is probably the most explicit moment in the film's cut version.

SFX - Watery looking blood (when its not cut out altogether).

RATING  - Nutbag is a bad movie in every sense of the word. Make no mistake - this film is NEVER going to win any awards. Its pretentious. It takes itself way, way, waayyyyy too seriously... and its unintentionally HILARIOUS.

BUT - Watch it all the same because its so ridiculous that its massively entertaining. I guarantee there will be moments when you just won't be able to keep a straight face - whether its the scowling pomposity of "Killer"himself, the grating techno- synth soundtrack, the endless strutting about, the whiny voice over narration or the ineptly censored kill scenes, theres something here to tickle any horror fan's "so bad it's good" funny bone.

3 and a half whining psychopaths out of 5. Neck a few beers on a Friday night, watch this and piss yourself laughing. Even the title is funny - it sounds like a slang name for a pair of testicles, what better way to draw attention to the fact that your film is a load of old bollocks ?

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