TV MEMORIES # 12 - BBC2'S WEIRD NIGHT

 In the 1990's "theme nights" where a fairly common staple of British television. The idea was simple - take a subject and dedicate an entire evening's programming around it. It could be anything from cookery shows, sitcoms to Doctor Who. The best theme night of all took place on Saturday December the 17th 1994. The subject - all things weird.

I first heard of this themed evening of TV in the pages of that month's edition of The Fortean Times. This magazine is devoted to covering all things bizzare and strange, it reports on all types of anomalous phenomena from UFO's through to Ghosts, spontaneous human combustion and anything and everything you can possibly think of inbetween. I've been a reader of this mag for many years, funnily enough the December 94 edition was the first issue I ever bought.

 I was studying for my A levels at the local college at the time and I had to come in one day extra that week to help out my then girlfriend, Emma who needed a "test subject" for her A level science practical exam. My being a test subject basically involved me getting on an exercise bike and having my pulse taken to determine how long it took to get back to a "normal" level after factoring in several variables (having a meal, being hungry etc). Emma warned me that there would be a lot of waiting around involved, so I bought a magazine to keep me occupied. The December 94 issue was that magazine.

As you can see Weird Night is even mentioned on the front cover. Needless to say I devoured the magazine and eagerly looked forward to the following Saturday so I could settle down and watch Weird Night. I bought about five blank V.H.S. tapes as well, I decided that I wanted to keep as much of this night of weird and wonderful television as possible.

So it came to pass that on Saturday the 17th I was sat in front of the telly at Emma's house. Emma was out for the first few hours (she had a babysitting job that she did every Saturday night) and her Mum was in the other room, so I had the TV and Video recorder all to myself.

8.35 rolled around, the BBC 2 ident came onscreen and the announcer proclaimed that the night of weirdness was about to begin - all twelve wonderful hours of it...

Instantly the viewer was catapulted into a strange landscape. A computer generated hellscape with a suburban family sitting on a sofa. The family looked fairly normal except for the fact that thier baby had a massive alien like head and spoke with an eerie sounding female voice. This "baby" was to be our host/continuity announcer for the evening.

It doesn't look like much these days but that CGI baby was pretty much state of the art in 1994. It definitely lent a nice surreal feeling to the proceedings at any rate. The baby then introduced us to B-movie director and legend Roger Corman. Corman is sat behind a Hammond/Wurlitzer organ, he plays a few bars of bizzare ragtime style music and then stares directly into camera. He tells us that his greatest fear is the fear of losing control. The camera tilts to an extreme angle to signify this. As Corman stares us down he then introduces us to the first show of the night - The Fortean Review Of The Year 1994.

What follows is a month by month account of the strangest events of 1994. UFO sightings, ghostly apparitions, fish raining from the sky (pretty much a TV version of Fortean Times magazine itself really). All this metaphysical madness was accompanied by a soundtrack from then popular British Triphop band "Portishead". In retrospect the whole thing was about as 90's as it was possible to get, but at the time it was a brilliantly atmospheric piece of television. It also helped cement my interest in Forteana and pretty much convinced me to start buying Fortean Times on a regular basis, 30 years later I still get the mag every month so this show must have done something right. It's safe to say that it awakened something within me.

Next up we had the first of three 10 minute long segments called Strange Days. These little inserts where interspersed throughout the night and where basically "talking head" pieces of "ordinary members of the public" (ie actors, I recognised at least one of the people from being in other TV shows before) telling tales of strange events that happened to them. I've no doubt most of the stories where genuine (probably sent in by viewers or friends of the production team) but some DEFINITELY had the distinct reek of bullshit about them. The first segment dealt with strange coincidences. It was OK but wasn't the best part of the night but at only 10 minutes long it didn't outstay it's welcome.

Next up was a documentary called The Last American Freakshow detailing American carnival Impressario Ward Hall's attempt to stage the final great carnival sideshow of his career. It's the sort of thing that probably wouldn't be shown on TV today for fear of "offending" someone (boo hoo) but it's actually quite a sweet little piece. It interviews many carnival performers (so-called "freaks") and details how important the carnival has been to thier lives, how it has given them not just a career but also friends, family and a sense of belonging. The sideshow hasn't "exploited" these people - it's empowered them. They all quite happily gather together for one final bash, to celebrate the final days of a dying art form. The whole thing has an elegiac feel and is very well done.

Then we got another slice of Strange Days this time dealing with the subject of Visions. In this one we get some crazy looking woman telling us that she'd met a Rumplestilzkin-esque goblin with "big genitals". I can remember me and Emma (who was back by this point) both swapping a look as if to say "what's this crazy bitch on ?", like I say - she was probably an actor anyway...

Following this was a short docudrama film called W.S.H. - Weird Shit Happens (although the moral guardians at the beeb felt it necessary to censor out the word "shit" for some reason). This film told the story of a university professor of folklore played by Ronald Riffkin who takes it upon himself to find out whether urban legends have any basis in fact. Its quite a good little mini-movie with some genuinely creepy moments but the main character gets a bit annoying when he starts pushing his luck and tempting fate. Needless to say it doesn't end well for him.

Next up was the obligatory episode of the X-Files. The show had only started running on BBC2 a few months prior to this but was already a massive hit. In fact it could be argued that Weird Night in it's entirety was just an excuse to cash in on it's popularity and ensure bums on seats for an entire evening of similarly themed TV. The episode shown was "Fire". This was touted as being a previously "banned" episode (in reality it was nothing of the sort - the high ups at the BBC just thought it's subject matter was too extreme to be shown in it's usual spot). The episode dealt with a pyrokinetic serial killer played by a very young Mark Sheppard. Sheppard is an English actor who is perhaps best known these days for his role as the demon Crowley in the long running U.S TV show Supernatural. Over the past 30 or so years he's become a familiar face in sci-fi and horror TV shows and has been in practically every major series in these two genres. He's very young in this but still recognisable and makes for a memorable villian.

Following Mulder and Scully's latest case we then had the third and final Stange Days segment this time dealing with the subject of Beasts.

After this we got a panel discussion show called Weird Thoughts. Panel discussion shows where quite a regular staple on BBC2 back then. It was usually an excuse for a bunch of academics and intellectuals to sit round and pontificate on a set topic at length and this show was no different. The best ever panel discussion show was when they invited a very pissed Oliver Reed onto one. Reed then proceeded to try and snog a lesbian academic (she unsurprisingly wasn't into this idea very much), it was half an hour of wonderful car crash television. Unfortunately there was nothing as entertaining as that on offer here, although we did get a nice tour of Ripley's Odditorium in Blackpool before the usual tedious discussion kicked off.

Weird Thoughts was the final programme of the main part of Weird Night. After that it was time for Weird Night Movies - the second part of the evening being given over to films of a strange and bizzare nature to take us through till dawn.

First up we had George A Romero's Martin. A vampire/serial killer psychological horror thriller which I've already reviewed on this blog. This was the first time I saw it and I thought it was great (still do).

Next up was an early David Lynch short called The Grandmother. This tells the tale of an unloved and abused young boy who literally grows himself a sweet old grandmother to look after him. All the characters bark like dogs, its just as unhinged as you would expect from Lynch and just as entertaining.

After that was X- The Man With The X-Ray Eyes - A Roger Corman directed Sci-Fi classic.

After this movie it was the early hours of the morning - 3.50 am. Even though me and Emma where at the young energetic ages of 20 and 19 years old respectively we still found ourselves flagging by this point. We decided to go to bed and get some much needed shut-eye. I wasn't bothered about seeing the next film anyway - the 1942 political thriller Strange Holiday starring Claude Rains.

BUT I did want to tape the following film. So I set my alarm and dragged myself out of bed an hour later to tape Attack Of The 50 Foot Woman.

I'd already seen this B-movie classic on BBC2's Mystery Train a few years previously so it was nice to finally get an off-air recording of this. I operated the VCR with bleary eyes and put in my final tape to record both this and the final movie of the evening/morning - Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

I watched these two movies the following day (cheating I know), I enjoyed 50 foot woman but didn't really get into Pee Wee that much. I still thought the infamous scene with "Large Marge" was great though.

To this day I still think Weird Night was one of the best nights of TV there's ever been. During my University days I watched and rewatched those Weird Night tapes time and time again. It got me into reading Fortean Times magazine and introduced me to some great movies. It was food for my imagination. I wish they still did things like this on BBC2, it's really just a shadow of it's former self these days. Ah well, at least I can still watch Weird Night in it's (near) entirety on YouTube...and so can you. I strongly advise you to do so - you won't regret it.