TV MEMORIES # 11 - THE MAD DEATH (1983)

In the previous episode of TV memories we talked about the absolute horrorshow that was "Threads" and how it reflected the all consuming fear that was nuclear annihilation in the darkest depths of of the 1980's.

However, nuclear war wasn't the only lurking danger that left us with sleepless nights in that neon and shit tinted decade, for there was also death by several horrible diseases to be feared. The big one, of course, was AIDS but there was another disease that caused arguably just as much hysteria...that disease was Rabies.

Rabies is a viral infection that causes progressive and fatal inflammation of the brain and spinal chord. The virus is usually carried by animals and can be transmitted to humans if they are bitten by an infected animal. Once infected, the unfortunate victim experiences mania, hallucinations, hydrophobia (fear of water) and eventually paralysis, coma (if they're lucky) and, finally, death. It goes without saying that it's a horrible way to go.

The Rabies virus (although relatively rare) is active in around 150 countries, thankfully, due mainly to Britain being an island, those of us living in the UK have never had to experience the horror of a full blown outbreak. Although that didn't stop the media of the 80's being absolutely obsessed with the idea of it happening.

In the 80's, when I was a kid, I used to go on package holidays with my parents to places like Spain, France and Italy (all that travelling I did as a kid and yet bizzarely as I'm now a few weeks off turning 50, I've not actually been out of the country since I was 21 years old). One of my abiding memories of those trips away was of hanging around at ferry terminals and always - without fail - the first thing you'd see was a big poster with the word RABIES emblazoned across it, warning us of the dangers of smuggling animals into the country, giving the cold hard facts about this deadly disease.

With thier stark images of insane dogs attacking little kids about my age, deaths head skulls and demonic looking cats and dogs these images stuck in my mind, and if ever I was in any doubt about thier seriousness then the big red letters pronouncing DEATH was enough to cause me to avert my young eyes within seconds of glimpsing them.

It wasn't just at ferry terminals either, you couldn't even turn the telly on without your senses being assaulted by a slew of increasingly disturbing Public Information Films all detailing the danger of Rabies. These PIFs varied in thier modes of attack - some would go for a mild approach like the one where we see a sweet little old lady try unsuccessfully to hide a cute little cat in her handbag at an airport customs - the would be pet (and potential rabies carrier) is seized and the lady gets a ticking off and a fine. So far so good you may think, but then you'd get the other films in the series which would up thier game and go for an altogether more brutal approach.

For example, there was the film where a man and his young daughter are attacked in the street by a vicious rabid dog - it's foam flecked muzzle promising infection and agonising death to the unlucky pair. That was the really scary thing about Rabies - you had to go out of your way to catch AIDS (you'd have to either have sex with someone or share a drugs needle with them - unless you where unlucky enough to be a heamophiliac or need a blood transfusion of course) but to catch Rabies all you had to do was be unfortunate enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and get in the way of a rampaging Alsatian (or at least that's what these films made it seem like).

Out of all the Rabies PIFs, by far the most horrific was the one with the charming title of RABIES MEANS DEATH. A film which went out of it's way to show us an actual real life (or should that be real death) Rabies victim as he lays dying in a hospital bed. This was no actor being paid a fee to look a bit poorly, this was the REAL DEAL. Unsurprisingly this five minutes of real life horror mentally traumatised a generation of children (and probably adults as well) and remains talked about to this very day. The fact that these horrors where often broadcast between the teatime news and that night's episode of "Crossroads Motel" (usually around 6pm) makes them all the more shocking.

If you think you could get away from the ever-present fear of Rabies by switching off the TV and doing something else, like say, going to down to the shops, then sadly you where shit out of luck. For not only had Rabies paranoia infested our television sets, it had also invaded our bookshops. Mass market paperback publishers (never ones to miss out on a popular trend) where soon knocking out Rabies themed pulp paperback shockers ten to the dozen. With thier lurid and striking covers and titles you couldn't help but find your eyes being drawn to them eveytime you where browsing the shelves during a boring trip to the supermarket.

Even good old Stephen King got in on the act with his novel Cujo.

It was one of these shockers that was eventually adapted by the BBC into the main subject of today's discussion... The Mad Death.

Broadcast over three nights in the summer of 1983, I have vivid memories of watching this adaptation of Nigel Slater's pulp shocker. The story tells of an outbreak of Rabies in the UK and its every bit as grim as you would imagine it to be.

I can remember from the outset that even the opening title sequence was as disturbing as hell. A whispering child's voice sings/chants ''All Things Bright and Beautiful" (because whispering kids are ALWAYS creepy) over some visuals of a snarling fox's head submerged under water, all while mournful BBC radiophonic workshop synthesisers emit a mournful drone in the background. This sequence certainly sets the mood to come and had me quickly turning my back to the screen as I always used to do as a kid whenever something scary was on TV.

After this the story gets moving. A British ex-pat living in France plans to ignore quarantine regulations and smuggle her pet cat into the UK with her. Little does she know that her pet has just been bitten by a random rabid fox (can't move for the buggers over there in "johhny foreigner land") and by commiting this folly our heroine unwittingly brings the dread disease to English shores. Upon arrival to the UK the poor infected puss is runover by a car and another random wandering fox (probably played by the same fox) then eats it's corpse and infects itself with the virus.

The fox becomes ill but is "rescued" by an American businessman -Tom Siegler (Ed Bishop). Things quickly go pear shaped for animal lover Tom, the fox goes into a rabid fury and attacks Tom who in scenes reminiscent of Stephen King's Cujo tries to hide in his car.

The thing I remember most from that first viewing is the foamy saliva that the rabid fox smears all over his car windows and my Dad telling me that if I ever see an animal slavering like that then I'm not to put my hand anywhere near the offending drool (like that was ever going to be an option). Anyway, the long and the short of it is that Tom gets bitten and infected and the fox escapes to spread the disease to other wild animals. Britain has now become RABIES LAND...

Poor Tom begins to show symptoms and eventually dies in hospital. We see him hallucinating and slowly going mad as he becomes physically weaker. The show makes no concessions to subtlety (or light entertainment) and his death is depicted in the most harrowing way possible. It's certainly memorable if nothing else.

The rest of the mini-series involves the authorities attempts to get the outbreak under control seen mainly through the eyes of our intrepid heroes  - research scientist Michael Hilliard (Richard Heffer) and public health officer Anne Maitland (Barbara Kellerman) who have the obligatory sexual tension between them (even though Anne has a boyfriend already).

All this character focused stuff is mere window dressing though (and completely forgettable too), as the main thing that sticks in my memory are the set pieces that crop up throughout the three episodes. There are several more uncomfortable death scenes of foaming mouthed humans dying slowly and painfully of the virus for starters.

I'm guessing the beeb must have gotten through it's yearly allowance of shaving foam pretty much in one fell swoop with this series.

We also get lots of scenes of posh people shooting various animals in the quaint English countryside - posh people in the quaint English countryside do this sort of thing all the time and seem to enjoy it for some bizzare reason, so I'm guessing this is just a normal day for them, killer epidemic or not.

Most memorable of all though (and the scene which got to me the most) was the bit where a rabid dog attacks a busy shopping centre full of people. Cue mass panic, lots of shaving foam smeared all over the shopping centre's glass doors and (if I remember correctly, which I may not be doing) the mad dog eventually being shot by police marksmen. Its a great scene and really stood out as bringing home the horror of the situation, theres just something about seeing a setting as mundane as a trip to the shops turn into a total horrorshow that always manages to strike a chord of fear. The familiar being warped by circumstances beyond your control.

That's really all I can remember about the Mad Death. It was definitely effective and at points horrifying but it wasn't quite up there with Threads for out and out soul destroying bleakness (but let's face it what is ?), it was released on DVD a few years ago so I might have to track it down and refresh my memory properly sometime. For now I'm going to sign off and say that if you ever see a dog with shaving foam round it's muzzle then do the wise thing and run the other way...Oh and just remember...