THE MONSTER CLUB (1981)

DIRECTED by Roy Ward Baker 

SCREENPLAY by Edward Abraham & Valerie Abraham based on the novel "The Monster Club" by R. Chetwynd-Hayes.

STARRING  - Vincent Price as Eramus,  John Carradine as R. Chetwynd-Hayes,  Donald Pleasance as Pickering,  Stuart Whitman as Sam,  Richard Johnson as Mr Busotsky,  Barbara Kellerman as Angela,  Britt Ekland as Mrs Busotsky,  Simon Ward as George,  Patrick Magee as Innkeeper,  Anthony Valentine as Mooney,  Anthony Steel as Lintom Busotsky,  James Laurenson as Raven,  Geoffrey Bayldon as Psychiatrist,  Leslie Dunlop as Luna,  Neil McCarthy as Watson,  Warren Saire as Young Lintom.

PLOT - Famous Horror writer R. Chetwynd-Hayes is walking home one night when he encounters a tired looking vampire - Eramus. Eramus complains that he has not eaten for days and is feeling drained. Eramus then attacks Hayes and drinks some of his blood.

After Eramus has fed (he only takes enough blood to slake his thirst, not enough to kill or turn Hayes) he expresses his gratitude to Hayes. As a way of saying thank you Eramus takes Hayes to a nightclub in the heart of London. This is not just any old nightclub though...this is The Monster Club.

Inside, Hayes finds the club populated by monsters of many different kinds, all celebrating thier monsterhood. Eramus begins to tell Hayes stories about the various types of monsters that inhabit the world in the twilight hours...

DIALOUGE  - Eramus  - "Vampires sup, Werewolves hunt, Ghouls tear, Shaddies lick, Maddies yawn, Mocks blow...but Shadmocks only whistle."

THE STORYS  - As The Monster Club is an anthology film, it probably makes more sense to do mini-reviews of each individual segment rather than follow my usual format, so here goes...

STORY #1 - THE SHADMOCK

A young couple of con artists - the beautiful Angela (Barbara Kellerman) and her scheming boyfriend George (Simon Ward) find thier latest victim - a rich and lonely recluse  - Mr. Raven (James Laurenson).

Barbara gets a job at Raven's mansion and discovers that he's frighteningly ugly but is at heart a gentle soul. Raven falls in love with Angela and asks her to marry him. Angela accepts as this will make it easier to rob his safe. However, what Angela doesn't know is that Raven is a Shadmock - a mongrel monster who when he becomes angry emits a whistle that can melt flesh. Raven is about to become very angry indeed when he discovers Angela's betrayal...

The film opens with a dark gothic "love story" albeit a one sided one. Laurenson portrays Raven as a sympathetic and pitiful figure, he's a misunderstood monster in the same vein as Karloff's Frankenstein Monster. This is in stark contrast to the scheming human couple who are attempting to rip him off. When Raven starts to fall in love with Angela you just know its not going to end well for anyone and the payoff when it comes is both satisfying and chilling.

This is a strong opener for the film. Its only let down by the fact that Raven (and other characters) are constantly going on about Raven's "hideous" appearance. He really doesn't look that monsterous at all, he's just an average looking bloke with pale skin and a bad haircut, nothing remarkable there. A case of the execution not living up to the original concept. Overall - it's well acted and has a nice moody atmosphere.

STORY #2 - THE VAMPIRES

Young Lintom Busotsky (Warren Saire) is curious about what his father (Richard Johnson) does for a living. He sleeps all day and only ever goes out at night. As Lintom's curiosity grows he is befriended by a preist - a man called Pickering (Donald Pleasance). Pickering urges Lintom to go into his father's basement whilst he sleeps. Lintom does so and discovers his father sleeping in a coffin. The truth is out - Lintom's dad is a vampire. Pickering also has a secret - he is the head of a secret police department dedicated to hunting down and killing vampires - The Bleeney - and now they are coming for Lintom's father...

This second story is an outright comedy. Lintom's father is so obviously a vampire (he wears a cape, only leaves the house at night, claims to be a Count and speaks in a Bela Lugosi style accent) it's surprising that nobody figured it out earlier. Donald Pleasance camps it up brilliantly as the vampire hunting copper Pickering and the whole story is really just one big excuse for the end punchline. Still, it's a lot of fun and is a nice contrast to the tragic and creepy first story. Consider it a palette cleanser before we move onto the third and final - much darker - story.

STORY #3 - THE HUMGOO

Whilst scouting out locations for a horror movie he is filming Sam (Stuart Whitman) stumbles upon a creepy mist-laden village called Loughville. He is quickly taken prisoner by the ghoulish inhabitants of the strange village. 

Sam meets Luna (Lesley Dunlop) the innkeepers beautiful daughter, she explains that the villagers are all flesh eating Ghouls and that she herself is a Humgoo (a half human, half Ghoul hybrid). The villagers are awaiting the arrival of the mysterious Elders and are going to hold a feast in thier honour. Sam is intended to be the main course...

This is the best story in the film. Its creepily atmospheric and beautifully shot. We get a great turn by Patrick Magee as the sinister Innkeeper and Leslly Dunlop is cute, sweet and engaging as the niave Humgoo Luna. The zombie like Ghouls are extremely unnerving and there's a great flashback sequence told with creepy black and white comic artwork that is the most chilling thing in the entire movie.

Overall the third segment is a strong and creepy bookend to Eramus's terror tales. The twist at the end is great as well. Flesh eating policemen...

FRAMING STORY

No review of The Monster Club is complete without mentioning the framing story which is the beating heart of the movie.

As expected Price and Carradine are great in thier respective roles. Price makes for a genial and friendly vampire and his speech about humans being the greatest monsters of all time is memorable and brilliantly delivered.

The monsterous denizens of the club itself let the side down a bit (they're just extras in cheap rubber Halloween masks) and the songs performed in the club are cheesy and very dated but this all adds to the fun and I wouldn't have the movie be any other way.

SFX - Cheesy looking monsters abound left, right and centre in the club...

The local fancy dress store must have been coining it in that day when the filmmakers ordered a joblot of Halloween masks.

Particularly dodgy looking is this fella, he's some kind of Werewolf/Dogman, the actor can hardly even speak due to the false fangs, he always makes me laugh whenever I watch this film...

More successful are the Ghouls, its only a bog standard make up job but they at least look creepy and intimidating...

Theres also a strip tease sequence in the club where the stripper takes off first her clothes and then her skin. This is shown with cartoon animation...

SEX & VIOLENCE  - There's very little violence or gore in this film. In fact you could quite easily show it to your kids as an entry level movie if they're looking to get into horror films themselves.

We do get a bit of body horror courtesy of the Shadmock when he uses his whistle to melt Angela's face off...

He also melts a cat at one point, so cat lovers beware.

Lintom's vampire dad gets staked by Pickering at one point but he survives due to the fact that he's wearing a "stake proof vest", the "gore" is really just tomato ketchup hidden inside the vest...

Pickering gets vamped himself and eventually gets staked by his own men.

Luna the Humgoo dies when a stone hits her in the back of the head - for some reason this breaks her back (???). You don't see any gore though.

RATING  - The Monster Club is a fun little film. It's cheesy as hell but that's all part of its charm. Its like somebody filmed a Halloween party and invited Vincent Price along to tell some spooky stories. Perfect seasonal fare.

Overall 4 and a half whistling Shadmocks out of 5.

POSTER/VHS/DVD ART  -

Above is an utterly bizarre cover featuring Vincent Price from a completely different film and Peter Lorre who isn't even in the damn movie.

And finally, heres the cover of the original novel which contains even more stories than the film does and is a cracking read in its own right.