HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES (2003)

DIRECTED & WRITTEN by Rob Zombie (I've seen copies of the original script online and Zombie credits himself as Robert W. Zombie, which amuses me for some reason).

STARRING  - Sid Haig as Captain Spalding,  Bill Moseley as Otis B. Driftwood,  Sheri Moon Zombie as Baby,  Karen Black as Mother Firefly,  Chris Hardwick as Jerry Goldsmith,  Erin Daniels as Denise Willis,  Jennifer Jostyn as Mary Knowles,  Rainn Wilson as Bill Hudley,  Walton Goggins as Steve Naish,  Tom Towles as Deputy George Wydell,  Matthew McGrory as Tiny,  Robert Allen Mukes as Rufus,  Dennis Fimple as Grandpa Hugo,  Harrison Young as Don Willis,  Irwin Keyes as Ravelli,  Michael Pollard as Stucky,  Chad Bannon as Killer Karl,  David Reynolds as Richard "Little Dick" Wick,  Walter Phelan as Dr. Satan,  Jake McKinnon as Earl "The Professor" Firefly,  Greg Gibbs as Dr. Wolfenstein.

PLOT - October 30th 1977. A group of teenagers (Jerry, Denise, Bill and Mary) are travelling across America on a road trip when they come across a roadside attraction  - Captain Spalding's Museum Of Monsters And Madmen.

Upon entering the attraction they meet Captain Spaulding, an eccentric hillbilly clown with violent tendencies. Spaulding tells the teenagers the story of local serial killer Dr. Satan - a medical psychiatrist who used to work in a nearby insane asylum who experimented on his patients in the hope of creating a super human. His failed experiments resulted in many deaths and Dr Satan was lynched and hung from a nearby tree. Jerry wants to visit the site and Spaulding gives them directions.

The teens soon get lost and pick up a hitchhiking girl - Baby. Unknown to them Baby is a psychotic killer from a family of psychotic killers who is leading them into a trap. Soon the car's tires are shot out by Baby's brother, Rufus. Baby "helpfully" allows the teens to stay at her house whilst the car is fixed. There the kids encounter the rest of the bizzare and eccentric Firefly family.

After an argument breaks out between Baby and Mary, the kids are taken prisoner by the family. They are subjected to horrific acts of torture and humiliation. Soon, only Denise is left alive. Can she uncover the hidden secrets of the Firefly family and thier mentor the mysterious Dr. Satan in time to escape from the house of 1000 corpses ?

DIALOUGE  - Otis - "It's all true. The boogeyman is real and you found him."

PERFORMANCES  - Rockstar turned writer/director Rob Zombie has always been a lifelong fan of horror movies, so it's only natural that once he was given the chance to make a film of his own that he chose a cast of cult actors that where well known in the horror genre.

Leading them is the late great Sid Haig - a veteran B movie actor - playing the psycho clown Captain Spaulding. The Captain is a great character, he's rude, obnoxious and seems to have a hair trigger violent temper. He also has a lot of charisma and gruff charm. Spaulding is incredibly funny whether he's berating the local cops or moaning about the fact he's just got blood all over his nice, clean clown suit. He always gets the best lines and you find you just can't take your eyes off him whenever he's onscreen.

Also great is Bill Moseley in the role of Otis. Moseley became known to horror fans when he played the role of Chop Top in Tobe Hooper's Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, since then he has (sometimes quite literally) carved a name for himself in the genre by playing a rogue's gallery of psychotic horror villains. Otis is no exception, in fact he could well be the greatest villain Moseley has ever played. 

Otis is a redneck albino with artistic pretensions. He takes pride in first torturing and then killing his victims. He then turns thier bodies into bizzare and twisted "art exibits". He's in a bad mood for most of the film because he's currently experiencing "artist's block" so is quite happy when a bunch of new subjects fall into his hands. With his lank, white hair and pale skin Otis is an intimidating presence, even more so when he dons "skullface" makeup and starts dressing like a satanic preist.

Moseley gives an intense performance, he apparently felt quite uncomfortable playing the character at points at it took him to "dark places" in his own head. It's a memorable turn all the same and thankfully any doubts he may have had didn't stop Moseley coming back for the two sequals to develop the character further.

Another veteran actor used is Karen Black playing the Firefly family's resident matriarch. Mother Firefly is a retired old prostitute desparately clinging to her fading glamour. She initially comes across as caring and motherly, but don't be deceived by this act as she's just as unhinged and deadly as the rest of her family.

Someone who has since become a name in the horror genre is Sherri Moon Zombie, Rob Zombie's wife. This movie is her first role and she plays the beautiful but psychotic Baby. Zombie has been criticised for casting his wife in every one of his films, but personally I can't see what the problem is. Zombie reuses a lot of the same actors in his movies (as do lots of other directors), if a director feels comfortable working with a certain actor then of course they're going to use them again, and Zombie is obviously going to feel comfortable around his own wife, so why not cast her ? Besides that, she's good anyway.

Baby is a totally unhinged creation. She giggles insanely, struts around sexilly and is prone to temper tantrums and childish strops. She's a spoilt brat, Mummy's psychotic little princess and is quite possibly the most deadly family member of them all. Oh...and she's also into necrophilia.

Rounding out the Firefly family we have Matthew McGrory as Tiny - a 7 foot tall mute burns victim who doesn't seem quite as evil as his siblings. Robert Allen Mukes as Rufus, the wolfskin clad muscleman with a taste for hunting. Dennis Fimple as Grandpa Hugo, the obnoxious old timer who loves telling lewd jokes and talking with his mouthful at the dinner table.  Jake McKinnon as Earl, the masked Jason Voorhees style mutant who lives in the catacombs below the house and Walter Phelan as Dr. Satan, the ancient Frankenstein style scientist who acts as the Firefly clan's mentor and inspiration.

All the above are memorable characters in thier own right and each one gets at least one moment to shine.

We've covered the villains, now its onto the heroes. The actual gang of kids whilst well acted don't get that much to do except be captured, tortured and killed. Rainn Wilson and Chris Hardwick as Bill and Jerry are both likeably geeky and could probably have carried a film by themselves - I could imagine the two characters being in a "buddy comedy" about them going on a road trip to see bizzare roadside attractions. The two girls are not as likeable though. Jennifer Jostyn's character Mary is a total bitch, she's always got this sour expression on her face and is constantly moaning about everything  (and this is before they're all abducted by a family of serial killers). Erin Daniels as Denise is a bit more likeable, she just seems slightly long suffering but at least indulges her boyfriend's whims with a bit more good grace. Rob Zombie has gone on record as saying that he didn't develop the kids much as "nobody gives a shit about them" anyway. I can see his point but it would have been nice to have someone to actually root for.

Then we get the local police force. Tom Towles is good as Deputy George Wydell. A tough cop who is ultimately too trusting, a flaw which ends up costing him his life. Then theres Walton Goggins as Steve, a tough talking redneck cop with a fear of dogs (especially Cocker Spaniels) and another veteran actor - Harrison Young - playing Denise's concerned father Don.

A special mention must go to these two...

Chad Bannon and David Reynolds as Killer Karl and Richard "Little Dick " Wick. Quite possibly the two most inept robbers ever seen in a film. They're not in it for long but the scene with them is hilarious. Rob Zombie always gives even his most minor characters great moments and this is one of the many things I like about him as a filmmaker.

SFX - Aside from lots of practical gore effects there's some decent makeup work in this film.

For example theres Tiny with his burnt face, looking a bit like a deformed Freddy Krueger...

And before anyone says anything - yes, I know the above photo of Tiny unmasked is from the sequal The Devil's Rejects but I couldn't find any shots of his unmasked face from the first movie online. He looks exactly the same in both films though.

Then we get Tiny's dad - the hulking masked mutant Earl who looks a bit like a Tusken Raider on steroids...

Finally theres Dr. Satan himself - a cybernetically enhanced living nightmare...

We also get to see assorted mutants and madmen in the catacombs, Dr. Satan's failed experiments left to wander the dark and lonely underground lair...

SEX & VIOLENCE - One thing Rob Zombie never shys away from is in his depiction of violence. This movie is no exception.

In the opening scene, hapless robbers Karl and Richard make the mistake of trying to hold up Captain Spaulding's place. Richard gets shot in the head...

Whilst Karl gets chopped with an axe weilded by Spaulding's assistant Ravelli before being shot in the face at point blank range by Spaulding...

Once the kids are captured, poor old Bill is the first to go. He's tortured by Baby and Otis, at one point they cut his hand off...

Eventually Bill is killed and Otis turns his corpse into a Fijian Mermaid style "Fish Boy"...

Jerry gets scalped by a razor blade weilding Baby...

George Wydell gets his brains blown out by Mother Firefly...

Don gets shot in the back multiple times by Otis and Steve gets shot in the head execution style also by Otis - all in gruelling slow motion whilst Andy Williams's "I remember you" plays over the soundtrack in the film's most memorable scene...

A butchered cheerleader's corpse is left in a trunk to bait the police...

Otis skins Don's corpse and wears his face as a mask to taunt Don's daughter Denise with, Leatherface style...

Baby stabs Mary to death...

And Denise has to undergo all kinds of hell in Dr. Satan's underground lair before escaping only to later be recaptured. Denise comes round on the good doctor's operating table. We hear her agonised and terrified screams as the end credits roll...

RATING  - House Of 1000 Corpses is an "everything including the kitchen sink" type of movie. You can tell that Rob Zombie didn't know at the time whether he'd get another chance to make a film so he goes all out to include as many things as possible. This includes a shed load of characters, multiple references to horror films that influenced Zombie, scenes shot in various experimental styles and lots of references to pop culture, music, freak shows and carnival culture.

In many ways Zombie is the Tarantino of the horror genre, sharing Tarantino's affinity for fast paced obscenity riddled dialogue, a fascination for pop culture and a love of trash cinema history.

This movie is a love letter to Grindhouse cinema and wears it's influences proudly on it's tattered, dirty sleeves. It's VERY in your face but all-in all is a memorable and inventive slice of sleazy horror.

I'm giving this 5 murderous families out of 5. A great start to an interesting filmmaker's career, even better things where to follow...

POSTER/DVD ART  -